Why Film Critics Are Necessary For Film Makers

Lately I've been doing heavy amounts of drinking and movie watching with a few film journalists from Austin, Dallas and Los Angeles. Call them reviewers, critics, or bloggers (because print journalism is just ignored now. Even the Austin Chronicle -yikes). I also follow them on twitter because they are absolutely the most fun people to talk about film with. I personally declined an offer to write for a film blog, because although you can certainly be both (like Robert Cargill. Great writer IMO) I felt like establishing myself as a film blogger would hurt my plans on being a commercial science fiction film director. Although there are so many times when I wish I could write about film, but again I feel like it's not my place as a film maker. Let the people who blog about film do that.

Yesterday, quite a few of them were tweeting about Film maker, Kevin Smith's slam against film critics. There's one dude I follow named @ScottEWeinberg who I swear is like some kind of mystery dude. We have mutual friends and I've apparently gone to multiple parties and screenings that he's been at but never met him. Or at least didn't know it (which would make me a socially awkward jerk). This guy, Scott wrote a great article defending his profession and craft from Smith's SDCC statement. You can read it here.

It was a great article but I really felt like it was missing a lot of points on why critics are so necessary to film makers.

So I wanted to throw in my point of view. First of all some background if you don't know me. I made a no budget feature length slasher film when I was 21. Looking at it now, I'm embarrassed at thinking I was ready to make it, however it was almost a full 4 years of film school itself (I dropped out even though Cliff Robertson told me not to. Bad idea. Should've listened to Uncle Ben). By making that film and taking it to festivals and horror cons, I met a lot of people who are currently my friends and future collaborators. But regardless, it's a shitty film. But hey, we all have to get our first film out of the way. We can't all make "The Duel".

Here are a couple of bad reviews on it. I did have some good reviews but I refuse to post them because that's not the point. (but just know that some people liked it and I'm way better now). This first review was on Dreadcentral. I consider this a poorly written bad review. I learned nothing from it and the reader doesn't know why my film was boring. The second review from KillerFilm was a great critique that actually said why my film was shit.

With that said film reviews can be incredibly insightful to learn and grow and know what your weakness are as a film maker. I'd be fucking lying if I said they weren't stressful to read, but grow the fuck up. One of my friends who's a film maker once came across his film on the iTunes Store and was amused at the negative customer reviews on it. He sincerely laughed and I'm jealous of him.

I also really enjoy the reviews made by Red Letter Media. They are most known for making Star Wars prequel reviews that are over an hour long. When I watch these reviews I feel like I learn more about what works and what doesn't work in the language of film as well as understand and reevaluating the basics of character and story structure that I feel is lost and forgotten very often. You can learn a lot from watching, reading or listening to other great reviews.

Truthfully criticism is necessary for any professional or artist of any craft or medium to learn, grow and improve. The best people for this job are indeed film journalists because they are fucking journalists. They are able to analyze and write what they feel doesn't work and articulate it better than anybody else.

The audience isn't stupid. If they don't like a particular reviewer, they won't pay attention to them. If they find a reviewer their taste is inline with, they'll frequent this reviewer. Because enjoying film isn't about good/bad or right/wrong. It's about fucking liking the movie. I lost some absolutely bad films because they're fun.

Since 2005ish, it seems like people have replaced the life and arts section of their local paper with blogs. This is a result of more journalists having a much larger medium to establish themselves than just one or two local newspapers. As a guy interested in movies, I had the choice to read certain reviewers on the internet and not the reviewers of the Austin American Statesman or the Austin Chronicle. Because I had a choice. And after I watch a film, I definitely want to know what someone else thought. And sometimes I'm quiet and antisocial.

If films aren't criticized or the criticism is ignored, the entire film industry will continue to get worse and worse and only be determined by how much shit it can sell. And that is only an indicator on how well a movie is marketable; not an indicator about how enjoyable the movie is. And we all want a return to artistically driven films. So let's respect our critics.

4 years.

So it's 2012 now. It's a very fun summer of films. Especially if you're a comic book geek. This summer started off with the Avengers that has been building up since Iron man in 2008 and we are a whole month away from The Dark Knight Rises which has been building since The Dark Knight in 2008. I have to be honest, the last time I've ever been this excited for a film was The Dark Knight 4 years ago. Nothing can make me feel more like a kid than waiting for a new Batman movie to open.

I find it interesting that our summer films are repeating the pattern but with a more finale feel. Being excited for a Dark Knight film reminds me of where I was 4 years ago. I had started my day job and at the same time, my friend, Mel started production on Walking Distance before it was renamed Psychic Experiment when it was sold to Lionsgate. This is cool because that was the summer when I met everyone I know now and this is kind of the year where we all grow up in a way.

When I got my current job 4 years ago, I met a lot of awesome dudes and gals. Most of them have all moved to California for the job. I decided to stay here until I get my next film wrapped. Meanwhile I also started working on Walking Distance and met most of the people that shoot who I now consider my regular "film family". Since then, I think we've all done a lot of growing up. Most of us are becoming the artists we were always supposed to be, a lot of those friends have had kids and I think at this time we're really starting to find ourselves as artists if that makes sense.

Shit. I think this blog had no point. But it's as personal as this blog ever gets and I wanted to share my inner thoughts about the crazy reflection this summer has given.

Where's Robert?

So a few people wondered why I didn't go to Texas Frightmare Weekend this year (2012) after I've been there every year since 08. "But Robert you drove all the way to Dallas just to see Robocop a few weeks ago but you didn't go to TFW?" Yyyyyup!

So first of I'm not dropping out of filmmaking or anything like that. I have been laying low. I'm doing a something. Trust me. This thing I'm working on is taking longer to develop than I fantasized about so I may make one more short film in the mean time. If I do that, I'll combine Nonexistent, Succubus and this third short film to make an anthology film. I feel like I'm waiting and therefor I need to stay busy. 

So back to TFW. At this point, I feel like this horror convention doesn't serve me as a film maker like it did before. In 08, I was starting out and figuring out how to exist in the indie world. 09, I had matured (so I thought) and was there to flex my cinematography muscles with the Possum Walk trailer as well as reunite with all my friends from Psychic Experiment (AKA Walking Distance at the time). The following two years I really had no purpose to be there other than get drunk with Mallory. I was quite disapointed that after so many years of promoting the film there that Possum Walk was not shown at TFW 2011. Although they did host a great screening in Dallas the December before.

This year, Mallory has moved away and truthfully I had no reason to be there as a film maker. Ya see artistically I'm moving away from horror and realizing that this entire time I was inspired by science fiction films while horror was just an easier jumping off point. And it was. I'm not dissing the genre. I like horror as equally as I like any genre. A Nightmare on Elm Street and Evil Dead 2 are still some of my favorite films. But if I'm asked to define my style with a genre, it's not horror. So with no film playing, nothing to "promote", I truthfully had no reason to be there. There were a few friends I wanted to see but I couldn't muster up the strength and cash for a Dallas weekend visit.

I did hear back from a few people on Facebook who bought the limited edition Possum Walk copy. That was pretty cool. Since I didn't have to sit through a screening (torture for any film I work on), it was great to hear people compliment my cinematography. Truthfully at the end that's all I was the actors. I thought the cast I filmed and edited was great. Particularly Maggie Conwell and Tyler Tackett. I know the audience loves them and I want those two kids to shine. I also loved working with Andrew Sensenig and Tim Taylor. Okay I liked every actor on the set so just read the cast and that's who I liked working with and those are the guys that inspired me to finish the project past the point where I was artistically ready to move on. 

Local DJ, Dale Dudley has a small part at the end. Therefor I spread the word to the Dudley & Bob fans on twitter, known as the #warriors that the movie was being sold there. A few of them tried looking for the table and couldn't find it. So for those that looked for it, thank you; I'll make sure you guys can see it or let you know when you can order it.

TL;DR= didn't go to TFW but glad people I've never met saw Possum Walk.

I'm still alive

Every week, I keep telling myself to write a new blog entry.

Then I realized that it's creeping up to two years since I last wrote something.

Just a quick update, I'm actually in a stableish relationship. Me having a girlfriend that lasts longer than a week confuses my friends and gives them worry about the world ending this year.

Since then I finished and screen Nonexistent, followed up with Succubus but since screenings and festivals cost money, I've been holding out on screening that. I've also been laying low lately. Trying to stay quiet until I work on a new project. Will talk more about that in the upcoming months when things start happening.

Just an update to say I'm alive before I start using this blog to bitch and rant about things I feel like talking about.

Texas Frightmare Weekend 2010

Texas Frightmare Weekend is probably THE biggest Horror convention and film festival.

Period. It's a place where i'm treated like a rock star, and more importantly I see lots of out of

town industry friends that I haven't seen in a while. In some cases, since last years. Last year at

TFW, we announced Possum Walk and showed a teaser right before and had a great time. So

this year I was incredibly stoked. Now, a year had passed, we have filmed Possum Walk, and I

have started the process of reinventing myself as a film maker with my new "sister"as she, tyler,

and I had filmed "Nonexistent". I had made a trailer and was ready to whip it out at a moment's

notice.

The weekend was fantastic. I met up with my wingman, sister, and snappy dresser of an actor, Mallory Carrick before going to the festival. We got there just in time for the Red Carpet and also set up the Possum Walk Display on the Horrorphile Entertainment table, while selling my first feature film, The man in the Garage on DVD on the table as well. Although I have to admit, Mallory and I were not able to crash the red carpet this time. We did get a nice greeting from everybody as soon as we walked in, including Melanie Donihoo's greeting, "Uh oh. The troublemakers are here." When did we get that reputation? Dumb question.

I'm sure most people there on Friday afternoon can tell you that I was just a little bit inebriated. It's not a lie. Ya see after the Red Carpet, Mallory and I needed dinner so we had fish and chips with beer, followed by shots of Jameson Whiskey (Bring on the Irish stereotype jokes) and I had a fine buzz and had no intention of passing the buzzed line, but every time I walked either away from the bar or towards the vendor room, an actress from one movie or another (mostly from Possum Walk) wanted to have a drink with me, up until the point where my brain turned into pudding. Enough time magically flew by very quickly, and I was able to sober up during Sweatshop. If you hear stories from that screening, I witnessed the drunken fall. Poor bastard. I wasn't that drunk.

In the end of that night I was very happy to see all my friends. I'd love to list them all but that would take up half the blog. So I'll post pictures if we were in any together. We did, however, buy Derek Mears a shot for his birthday, just for being such a swell guy. Below are pictures of Chris Warren, director Imago. I haven't mentioned him yet, but he's a swell guy too.

Evening came and morning followed... way too soon. Since Mallory was part of the TFW video, we had to wake up way earlier than what was legal. Mallory participated in the zombie walk and I walked around like a zombie so it worked out.

Most of that day was an exhausted blur. There were two celebrities (that I don't personally know) that I wanted to meet. Margot Kidder from Superman and Keith Gordon, director of 8 Dexter episodes including my favorite episode and Michael C. Hall performance, titled "The Dark Defender". Truthfully I was way too beat dead tired to socialize with people I didn't know.

During that time, it was quite badass to see all of my friends from Sweatshop including Jeremy, Kristen Hall, and Melanie being treated like movie stars as a huge long line waited to get their Sweatshop poster signed by the cast and crew. That was awesome to witness. Sucked for them. They had to sit their for two and a half hours. Jeremy did not stop bitching about that.

One nap later and I was back in business. Mallory interviewed me about Possum Walk and Nonexistent for the TFW video. Went back to her apartment, changed to flirtier party clothes and enjoyed the night. I admit, I felt a bit tense for no good reason and didn't drink as much because I just couldn't loosen up. Until things just went crazy with the Sweatshop cast by the end of the night. Everything after that night was quite dramatic and may show up in a movie, with some creative changes made to protect the innocent.

Final day. I believe I spent most of the weekend just spending time with friends and flirting with girls. But Sunday is the day when I snapped into business mode. I know it seems like most of this blog was devoted to drinking and partying. Truthfully yes. A lot of that happened. But I was here first and foremost to show my self as a film maker.

Mallory was able to use her charms to get us a spot in the Texas Frightmaker's Show and Tell panel. We showed a Possum Walk clip, that got some juicy reactions. Then we finally were able to show the trailer to Nonexistent finally. that was exciting. I lied. It was scary. The entire time I was so worried that, because I was the one guy showing a trailer that didin't feature gore and violence, then I would be considered the pussy film of that bunch. After wards, I got a lot of people (mostly chicks, which is actually cool) that state they really liked seeing something different from the rest of the films that featured true drama and acting. So that is awesome. That's pretty much what I wanted. A few friends have also commented that the title shot at the end gives them chills. A few people were disappointed and confused that I was making a short film. I still believe that I need to rebuild myself and I can do it faster and more efficiently with a shit ton of shorts with higher prodution value then what i could currently accomplish by making a feature.

If you're wondering what I'm referring to, I will be posting the trailer this Friday. The panel was great, however I preferred how things were done last year for the same panel. First of all they had a much better sound set up that really made things pop and boom. Also, last year we were able to bring up the whole Possum walk family (cast and crew. But I say family) onto the stage to feature them. This year they slumped all the director's together to briefly say hi and answer whatever questions pop up.

After wards, I finally had a conversation with Keith Gordon about Dexter and working with Michael C. Hall and the cinematographer of the show, Romeo Tyrone. That was awesome.

After everything winded down, I took the Possum Walk table down and thought I was about to have a quiet drink until EVERYBODY was still there. So that lasted all night until Mallory passed out. Then the weekend was over, I said my goodbyes and they all lived happily ever after.

I can't think of a clever title but it's a post "Nonexistent" update

So it's been about two weeks since we filmed Nonexistent. Since then Mallory and I have partied at festivals, seen Walking Distance be birthed on the screen and Fangoria issued a press release about nonexistent here.

Mallory sent me the most epic voicemail of excitement. I really hope she gives me permission to put it on the internet because it was amazing. After it was put up and finally announced the film, my friends have been extremely supportive of the project and I thank them for that. I'm also getting pressure from everybody to get a trailer ready in less than a week for Texas Frightmare Weekend. I'm already part of a panel for "Frightmakers' show and tell" representing Possum Walk. We have a full clip to show since we've already showed off two awesome trailers.

So I've cut together a trailer and should have the whole thing finished by tomorrow. At this point I just have to do color correcting, clean up a few "ghost effect" shots and clean up the sound. Leroy James is currently working on the posters and so far I've seen a few designs and they're awesome.

Seeing as how I've marketed the film on Fangoria, it's gotten a few misconceptions and possibly expectations of me. First of all it's not a feature, it's a short film, but I'm still going to make a big deal out of it as if it was a feature. Also, even though I wrote it up like one in Fangoria, it's really not a horror film, but a supernatural drama (not like Twilight), but it has a very horror movieish ending, that I think will be awesome. Unfortunately I can't show too much of it in the trailer since I don't want to say how it ends, although really, it's the ending that makes the whole damn movie.

I also wanted to reflect after finishing the movie and the effect it's had on me. I know I mentioned some of this before but it's kind of amazing to me. First of all, I can sleep at night. Most everybody who knows me knows that I usually go a few days without sleep. Sometimes I'll just lay in bed in the dark until morning. But since finishing the movie, I sleep and wake up like normal. I also feel like an emotional weight involving a person from my past has been lifted. I thank my friends for bringing characters to life to bring out these emotions and help me express myself. I feel like I've been artistically frustrated and just now got to blow my load... artistically. I feel amazing now. I also thank my crew for helping me keep my shit together to make and finish the film.

Next weekend is Texas Frightmare Weekend. Every year that is an insane party. We'll see what happens next weekend.

Dallas International Film Festival

Last week I spent some time in Dallas at the Dallas International Film Festival.

I finally got to see Clay Liford's Earthling, which I've been wanting to check out for a while. I also got a chance to catch up with actor, Andrew Sensenig who I haven't seen in almost a year, since we shot Possum Walk.

I then met up with Mallory to begin DIFF partying. I found a tie to match her shoes and she had a dress to match my shoes. Yes we did insist on matching and hell yes, we were adorable. After that festival, I can spend my whole life without ever drinking Stella Artois again. Seriously I had nothing productive to add about that night. We were festival crashing. It was awesome.

The next night of the festival was very special to me, because Walking Distance finally opened. Damn near the entire cast and crew was there, which was great to see and catch up with everybody. Mel and James were totally owning the crowd of photographers and journalists on the red carpet. Adrienne and Shannon were there, which was fantastic. I was actually quite happy and proud to see my friends eat that night up. On my end, I couldn't stop getting compliments from everybody whose seen part of the BTS/Making of featurettes I had made for the film. Then we all had a preparty at the bar next door. More debauchery. Damn Mallory and her need to do shots every 10 minutes.

Then showtime came and the movie started. Although I might have seen a few of the completed scenes already, it was weird to see everything put together and the fruits of everybody's labor.

Evening came, and morning followed, the next day: More festival partying. A lot of damned people I don't know took our pictures. I'm sure I'll never see these photos for my entire life. Unless I get magically tagged on facebook by someone who happens to recognize me.

So ended another festival and only two weeks away from Texas Frightmare Weekend.

April has been a hell of a month.

Final update.

Okay I am way late on my updates for Days 4 and 5.

Thursday was our last full day of production. I started the day off running around town, picking up supplies for a bathtub scene. I'd like to thank Marcus Koch (director of "Fell" and "100 Tears") for the special ingredients. Also Aimee helped me over the phone to figure out what the hell I was looking at at the art supply store. When I was checking out at Jerry's Artorama, they couldn't figure what some one could make with an exact-o knife, red paint and black dye.

We took all some of the small scenes that involved just Mallory and finished off Darr's last scene. We ended the night with an emotionally grueling scene involving a bathtub. Mallory helped make that scene especially effective, the effect turned out quite well, and Shelly was a fantastic help during that tough scene.

The next day was spent resting and a building a bed rig for the next day's effects. Burt Bailey and Brandy Eastman came down from Dallas that morning. Mallory and Brandy started up the second season of Dexter, while Burt and I built the bed rig. It was basically a box in the same shape of my bed with a platform that Mallory could lay straight down on while two people could lay below her to grab her. Once they were done, Burt and Brandy left. It was great seeing them again. After that, Mallory and I just had a quiet night watching episode after episode of Dexter. It was quite peaceful and relaxing.

The following day, my friend and special effects wizard, Matt Ash came by and started doing special effects arms on my friend Haylan. Once we were done with her, we realized the other person set to do the scene was sick so we called up our sound guy, Bobby and he ended up doubling as a special effects performer. Once the special effects were done we just had to do a few shots but each shot required redoing the whole set per shot. Eventually we finished and realized we ran out of stuff to shoot. Then we were wrapped.

This whole film and that entire week was the most artistically fulfilled I've ever felt. Words can't describe what it felt to put this film together. My cast and crew was great and really helped me get everything I absolutely needed to create and finish the film. Looking at the film makers and friends of mine who are hitting up the Dallas International Film Festival this week, I realize we still have a long way to go, but we're on the right path.

As soon as we were wrapped, I put my bed back up and fell right asleep and could not stay out of bed. I was disappointed I didn't get a chance to see Jeremy Sumrall who said he was coming into town but apparently he wasn't able to make it.

The following day was a whole day of sleep.

I did go back to my day job on Monday. I was excited to get back to work, but as soon I get there, I realize that everything is different, I'm not working on iPad, our break rooms look like they're from the Enterprise and there's a bazillion new kids I don't recognize at all. All of it would be just fine to deal with until I realized my health had dropped dramatically. Seriously? After finishing a film?

I checked with a doctor this morning and apparently it was just an allergic reaction to newly prescribed medicine. Doctor recommended I spent the next week resting. I feel bad for missing two whole weeks of work during a busy time, but I have the doctor's note. He said I should relax so I will be relaxing at the Dallas International Film Festival.

Day 3

Tonight is the first night when I've actually been alone since Sunday. It's incredibly refreshing. It didn't help that everybody wanted to go out after a 12 hour shoot day. That itself is another story and has nothing to do with production.

At this time, Tyler is wrapped and has gone back to Conroe, Mallory went out for the night to meet with friends and I am listening to the sound of silence. Not the song. I'm enjoying the only sounds being heard are my keys on this keyboard and the hum of my refrigerator.

Tuesday was a light day with very little dialogue but a lot of one shot type scenes. As well as most of the ending, which looks awesome. We also shot the opening credits at a party scene. Before we shot it, I felt like a weirdo or a creeper for having two good friends of mine recreate a moment of my life in college. Those thoughts and feelings went away when the only thing I could think of was getting the scene shot. Thanks to my good friends, Leroy and Ellie for rounding up the extras and letting invade Ellie's living room.

Immediately following that was Kirbey Lane, followed by delicious sleep.

Wednesday was one of those mornings where everything that could go wrong, did. We had a very late start which is contrary to the rest of the shoot (as was the lack of sunny weather) but thanks to actors who said their lines perfectly, a crew who pulled together quickly and enough light through the clouds we some how were still able to wrap the whole shoot today.

It was also a little bit o a reunion for me. First of all I'm extremely pleased that I got to shoot with Austin comedian Maggie Maye again after it's been 4 years since we shot The Man in the Garage. That was awesome. She looked and sounded great. I loved how she and Mallory were able to play off each other. She gave a lot of cute improv lines which I liked. Michael Darr and Tyler were also awesome of course. Also mad props again goes to Shelly for busting her ass and helping me get my shit together again. She has been extremely hard working and bad ass.

My other reunion was with Kristen Hall (from HMF Indie Radio) who I haven't shot with in about a year since we started Possum Walk. Actually that's kind of a lie since she played a dream creature and played her character as a corpse last fall. I also finally got to meet her 4 year old son, Daegan which was awesome since I've heard so much about him and seen a bazillion pictures of the squirt. His scene came out beautifully.

In fact, about 90% of what we shot was exactly like I wanted and imagined when I wrote the script. I'm not used to that accomplishment and it's quite badass. I might be in danger of feeling artistically satisfied. With that said, I'm going to find some friends and share a drink. Don't worry, we have a late call time tomorrow. Not too much left to finished.

Day 2

No juicy updates for tonight. Just beautiful, fucking sleep.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

Day 1

Out of pure excitement and anxiousness I got a total of 3 hours of sleep. I'm sure it didn't help that I slept on the floor so I could give my actors my futon and my bed. But not my ninja turtles pillow. No, sir.

After lots of coffee and prep, we arrived at the location, set up, fed the actors (thank you Shelly. Amazing PA who went above and beyond) and got rolling.

Loved working with Tyler and Mallory again. Before I hadn't had a chance to do too much with Mallory's range on Possum Walk, so today was good. Between the two actors, I felt like we were completely in sync and completely understood and identified with their characters.

During our second major scene today, Mallory and Tyler were rehearsing a pretty dramatic, sally sob scene and of course BAMMO a person who helped inspire that scene sends me an email with the exact same sentiment. Needless that put me in a weird head space and in some way made me relive a shitty emotion. Maybe that helped, but either way every scene ended up looking exactly like I planned and that never freagin happens, right.

In fact, there was even a moment when I wrote the script, I thought to myself, "Man, if the clouds could just open up and shine sunlight at this exact line, I will be so happy." So apparently God read the script and approved this idea, because that's exactly what happened.

Some how we were way ahead of schedule without missing anything. Even after letting the actors nap for an hour and a half, we still finished an hour early.

Special thanks goes to the cast: Tyler, Mallory, and Michael Darr for not sucking. Bobby and Shelly for busting their ass and getting shit done. And my buddy Johnny for letting me steal his apartment for a whole day. I promise you will find it exactly like you left it...

More work for tomorrow. Can't get too comfortable.

Nonexistent - Day 0

Somehow it is magically April now.

It's almost midnight and tomorrow morning will be our first morning of principal photography of my new film, titled "Nonexistent"

I haven't released a press release so if you're paying attention to this blog, you are ahead of the Robert Luke news.

Tyler Tackett is playing the male lead. At this time we are waiting on Mallory Carrick to come on into town, as we just took down a badass pasta dish I made and watching Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete. The complete version makes me happy.

Throughout chillaxing during movie time, I find a new reason to nervously pace back and forth, take care of that chore and realize I can relax and have a beer.

Granted I'm doing a short, but I have to say this is the most relaxed I've been before any production. Normally I can be a nervous wreck before a production. The fact that I'm not nervous makes me wonder what I'm missing. After all, this is my first time to direct again since 2006. I've been heavily involved in other productions so the experience I've had since "The Man in the Garage" is miles upon miles further.

I'd like to think that, I've had enough experience, trust my actors enough, and more importantly trust myself enough that I know we have everything under control and can handle any obstacle that shows up.

We're going to shoot half of the whole damn movie tomorrow at my friend Johnny's apartment. I feel bad for making him take his dog somewhere for a day but damn it looks cool and he won't have it for too much longer. It is pretty small and I do love to use a telephoto lens for dramatic scenes so we'll see how that goes.

So I'm feeling good. I can't think of anything more to write and shit is about to get real in the FF7 movie. Man this movie reminds me of my biggest influence as a 13 year old.

I'll do my best to update nightly.

Good freagin night.

Until Tomorrow, friends.

Putting the tie back on.

So I'm starting a new production. The voice of reason tells me I need to wait until I have a budget and can get the appropriate crew.

However, my artistic voice is screaming to get shit done now and make it amazing regardless.

So that's what I'm doing. We start rolling in a month. Need to prep the SFX with Matthew "Don't call me Monster Matt" Ash. I've locked down my cast. I'll announce them shortly, however if you know me as a film maker, you already know who I'm using.

As stressful as a lonely preproduction can be, I did feel a sense of comfort when I put on a coat, my pair of kicks and headed out to a coffee shop to sit down and meet an actor. In fact I felt like my real self again. It was nice.

I've also been meeting with different DPs. Normally I do my own photography, but I'd love to have the experience of collaborating with somebody else on the visual aspect of the film. I'd also love to have somebody worry about the technical aspects of film as I just sit at monitor and focus on actors.

I'm also way encouraged by the positive responce I've received from my cast about the script. During all this, I realized I was leaving work, changing out of my work clothes, putting on my suit and kicks to meet with actors or crew members. Suddenly I feel like myself again. I needed to be me again, apparantly.

I really need to break out of my current mold. I receive compliments and ass kissing from people involved with "independent Texas Horror" or "The Texas Blood" as we've been called. Ass kissing is definitely encouraging, however if you're not doing horror among our little clique, you'll have absolutely no idea who I am. I need to change this.

As I'm writing this, SXSW is currently going on in the city I live in. I really have no plans save for a few films made by friends of friends and a few parties here and there. Right now I'm currently focused on preproduction for the short and saving money to make the production go down smooth. However, I do feel that it would've been good for me to go. Even just to mingle, even though I have no film going in. There are three major festivals that happen in Austin. SXSW, Austin Film Festival and Fantastic Fest. Lately, I've been too busy to really go to those unless another film maker invites me to a particular show. I need to stop that, set aside some cash to get a good pass and start going to all these festivals. It's good for me to meet other film makers, make myself known, have fun and maybe make friends with some actresses here and there.

For now, it's time to lock locations and schedules. BTW, I need a sound guy.

Light

I love light.

I don’t expect a lot of people to understand, but I think about it at almost all times I love how it can shape the landscape of a face. If bright orange or blank white, you can tell if it’s hot or cold regardless of sweat, clothes, or snow. When the sun sets or rises, you get an amazing display of light dancing up the horizons, while it casts a visually warm blanket over whatever it touches. This is called Magic Hour or Golden Hour. People who’ve worked with me know how much of a pain in the ass I can be to film during this hour.

Light has an amazing effect on the human body. It can outline a face, shape a woman’s body. If you can control light, you have total control over what a person looks like.

When somebody asks me about cameras or settings, I try very hard to not show that I’m laughing or grimacing at those questions. It’s all about light and framing. Frame it so that it looks like a movie and then move your lights in a way where you can shape the actors (not just see them, but so that you create an outline of them)

I hate shadows. Shadows can be used well but sometimes they get in my fucking say. I have a big pet peeve over an actor’s face being shadowed by another actor and I can be such a pain in the ass when that happens. Maybe my fault with lighting, but fuck I liked how it looked.

In most ways, I believe light is inescapable. Perhaps this isn’t true with everybody’s vision, but even when you turn off all the lights, you can still see. Light is still there. I’d imagine if you were truly without light, you’d feel lousy. And yes I know I’m a kid that wears all black and makes scary movies, so I’m supposed to be all about darkness. But that’s a terrible way to live. I love light, respect its power, and it is my friend.

Chaos

So this week on facebook is a status chain thing going on that reads:

Retro week is over! Starting now, post a picture of someone fictional that you think best represents your personality. Be creative. Copy and paste this so we can all play along" Cute. But i'm not going to do it because I think it's dumb. No long, drawn out answer. It's just stupid. But what character best represents me? I promise you the answer is very super nerdy, but you should already expect that of me. Since I was a kid up until probably 21, I identified with Peter Parker. Then I kinda of went back and forth between Batman and Captain Kirk. How odd? Well I think of Batman as somebody whose obsessed with accomplishing his goals to the point where he just loses touch with humanity. At the same time I also admire Captain Kirk for being a leader with his shit together while being super flirty and having fun with the ladies.

I have to admit I haven't felt like Captain Kirk lately. And I suppose I've been relating to Dexter Morgan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been going ape shit over that show and talking about it bunches, but for me, my relationships with people have changed. Since going into post production I've become much more isolated and very much less social. So I feel like I have to pretend to have a good time, when I'm constantly in my own little world that nobody can identify with (i know that's a lie and we all feel that way) I also feel that since my relationships with people have changed, they almost represent characters and people in his life. Mallory is totally Deborah Morgan. Johnny is Masuka (except with out being a pervert), and I guess I can fill in the rest. I guess Leroy is Angel Batista (but Mexican instead of Cuban). Nobody is Rita. Maybe there was a Rita last week. She knows who she is. If she's reading this, "Go take a bath."

So those are the fictional characters I relate to throughout my life and now I no longer feel like Captain Kirk but feel like Dexter Morgan. Lame.

I believe part of my issue is stability. I have way too damned much of it. Everything is so perfect and set in stone that I am now in a position where I am trying to force chaos into my life. But it's not working. Ya see I've been getting trashed a lot lately. Mostly to calm those voices and angsty feelings that are driving me to work on said short films from last blog thing. I have a routine that I secretly follow when I'm out getting drunk to avoid a hangover and prevent myself from doing something stupid (except drunk text. and even worse drunk facebooking) So I even feel the need to control drunkenness. One big indicator of why I need to let go and let chaos take over. So let's talk about my drunkenness. Yes, I've been getting getting trashed a lot lately. I might be somewhat self destructive. Some people accept it. Some people worry. Nothing to worry about, because I can't even let myself do something stupid. I do have a lot of fun, archiving my stupidest, most random thoughts on Facebook while I'm drunk. I do this in hopes of entertaining people and possibly tell a story for whoever is reading. Although I really need to stop doing that.

I am Robert Luke and I like it.

I started this somewhat hungover. Finished it with a clearer head.

Only a select few have seen much of me in the past month or so. Probably even a select few of that select few had noticed how I hadn't been myself much. The worst part was that I knew something was eating at my soul and I didn't know what it was. It's like I had some odd, angsty need for something but I didn't know what it was either.

For the past few months or so, I had been heavily involved in the post production of two films. One is Possum Walk which is what I'm currently producing. The other is Walking Distance, where I am making all the "Behind the scenes" and DVD extras. I'm a person that tries to accomplish a goal at all costs, even if that means not sleeping or eating. I could deal with that much.

Looking back now I had lost part of myself while working on these films. I'm not bitching. It's quite common in film making and I know it happens. I just forget about it every time. I have lost track of a lot of my friends and they seem like strangers to me now. I haven't been dating or even talking to girls like I had before. It was tricky because I wasn't interested in socializing or flirting, because that had nothing to do with my goals. I'm bad at turning that off.

Since I'm winding down on Walking Distance and about to get back onto Possum Walk, I've actually been able to relax, and I totally forgot what that felt like. It's amazing, and I think I actually feel like me again.

The other thing that has been driving me just a little bit batty, is what I found out was some kind of artistic angst. For the past two years, I have been devoting my efforts to help other friend's movies. I have stories I need to tell. I've been coming up with a series of short films, as well as that big epic feature I've been writing forever. A lot of you have probably heard me talking about the big script. I'm not jumping to it just yet. I need something else first. All of this has been kind of putting me on edge, sometimes with a bottle and a cigarette. I'd like to quote my friend Mallory, who I think has a brilliant writer's mind ("Persephone" project, yo! Let's do it!) "It's not alcohalism, it's the artistic temperament. We can't handle our fire, so we typically kill ourselves. I need more time, to prove something, to change something." I think that very much sums up the way I've been feeling when I feel like I'm about to flip out and start kicking things.

Now that we're in 2010, I'll be starting over to make my own films again. Working on these two films had allowed me to observe how other people work, meet new people and grow, while being involved on what I believe to be two very potential films.

Now, I have 3 or 4 shorts to do in 2010. That will allow me to improve my game, work with more people, and more importantly have a better representation of what I can do on a film, as oppose to my first feature, "The Man in the Garage" or the doc extras for "Walking Distance", or my cinematography for "Possum Walk" (Although I'm extremely proud of all of those projects) It will also give me more to showcase and go to more festivals with. And I really need another festival to rock star at (be a drunken bad ass, make out with actresses, and receive sage advice from movie stars)

Speaking of which, Walking Distance work is winding down. Still have a little bit more time to do a few more videos for the movie. James and Mel have been very complimentary and have been given great feedback on the videos and they look very nice. I actually started to feel somewhat impressed by watching it.

There's one more thing I need to bitch about. I hate birthdays. I do. But everybody else wants to celebrate it. I'm the asshole who usually doesn't tell anybody about a birthday, while I ignore the human race and avoid my friends and family until the day ends. Really, I do owe it to my friends who want to celebrate me going 25 years without dying of alcohol poisoning. I'd love to have all of my Houston, Dallas, and Austin friends (and one girl from Louisiana) all in the same place. That would be hard/impossible to accomplish. I also have no idea what people do for their birthdays. I guess we can go to the pub. I should take the next Monday off. Well we'll see. BTW: Dexter season 2 on blu ray, a black and white checkered board table with stools, dish and glass set, a working car/Nissan Cube (white with automatic transmission and a built in iPod connector). Go for it, friends.

So finally, to sum it all up, I do feel like my self again. I am Robert and I like it (devilish grin)

New Decade

I could've written a very lovely little dialogue about the decade. I'm not sure what I'd have to write about. I have all kinds of angsty stories of growing up from age 14-24. When thinking about ten years, I think not enough happens and I need to move faster.

I have some theories as to why I think the next decade is going to be an amazing time for me and my friends.

On the new Years weekend, I shaved my beard and cut my hair. Not doing a new look, not changing anything. I just thought I my beard could use a do over and needed to remind myself of why I require a beard. I go back and forth between liking neat short hair and messy long hair.

I'm starting a new short script as well. I'm excited. I know who I want to be in it. It might be an easier film for me to film. Haven't decided if I want to do my own cinematography or not. On one hand, I can make great pictures and I will work for myself for free, but then I'd love to be able to concentrate on the actors and just watch a monitor without having to worry about moving the camera.

So 2010, we are going to make at least 3 new short films. I've talked talked to my girl-twin about it and she's on board so watch for us terrorizing the film festivals and crashing the parties. Even if we're invited, we're still crashing them. That's how we do things.

2009

So the year is ending. So is this decade. 2009 was an eventful year. We went through life and death together on Possum Walk, in which I met some great talent and more importantly great friends. Personally I also felt that I have gained the respect of a lot of my friends as an artist and felt like the artist I've always fought to become. There were a lot of laughs, a lot of women, and memories that I'm not going to lose. A lot of people could probably be saying that about 2009. You may already be a friend of mine on facebook, but if you're not, feel free to check out my little photo album here that summarizes the year of 2009.

It's hard to make a movie list for 2009. Star Trek was nice and amusing. I looooved Drag Me To Hell. And I won't forget 500 Days of Summer. Sigh.

Of all the piece of cinematic art that I loved this year the most was not a movie this time but a TV series. Dexter Season 4 was such an incredible journey and an

amazing display of writing and acting. Particularly the performance of John Lithgow. The Trinity Killer was my ABSOLUTE favorite performance of the year. It's going right up there with Heath Ledger as the joker. Amazing work, sir. Absolutely brilliant.

Obviously I have more to say about the year. For the faithful reader, please check out my photo album.

The Christmas Blog

Okay so I know this will show it was published after Christmas, but I promise you I started this blog on Christmas day.

I wanted to make a list of things I love about Christmas. Then I realized it's all movie related because that's what I like.

Nightmare Before Christmas - For a while and sometimes again, it bugs me about how popular and "trendy" this movie is. But it's because it's damned good. Lately in a weird way I've been feeling very identified with Jack Skellington. Should I be worried? Maybe. Of all the songs on here, I'm finding this one most amazing of all. I also love the camera movements that would be so HARD to do in a live action film and so much easier with stop motion animation.

Batman Returns - not trying to make this a Tim Burton Christmas but I love christmas/snowy setting of the film. No need to go on about how crappy the script is, although I do love the ending and think it's exciting as all hell. I'm pointing this one out because I used to love it so much and remember getting it for Christmas on VHS one year. Good times. This trailer still makes me giddy as a kid.

The next movie I would like to bring up, is a Christmas classic that I think is very underrated. I think it's very well written, a very smart movie despite the genre's reputation. It's about a family coming back together during the holidays, while trying to save the Nakatomi building from Alan Rickman. "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

The Christmas Song- Not a movie, but I like this song by Nat King Cole and I think it works amazingly in film. It's nice. What more explanation do you need?

Scrooged. Best freagin movie ever. Everything about it is perfect.

As far as the holidays, I went up to Dallas to hang out with my brother, his two kids and my parents who were also visiting. Also got a change to hang out with actor, Mallory Carrick. We decided we are twins and together we're going to take over the film community. I didn't get a chance to meet up with Mel and Chris or see Natali while she was in town. I need a car. or a temporary engine? This week I'll be losing a lot of sleep. Final push for the Walking Distance extras. Excited.

Back to blogging

Hi Everybody,

Haven't updated this blog thing since I got it. Mostly because I've been stupid-busy with the Walking Distance DVD extras and the post production of Possum Walk.

Possum Walk has been coming together very nicely. Mostly toJeremy Sumrall's script and directing. All of Horrorphile's production on this film and of course the amazing talent that's in the movie. While in post

we were able to add a pick up shot of a new/old character. This gave me an excuse to work with an interesting actress (she prefers "actor" however) named Mallory Carrick whose been terrorizing Dallas for the past year that I've noticed. Next to make her and Maggie Conwell's shots look like they're in the room

together. It can be done... Then audio. gulp. These two actresses are really

bad ass and it was a shame we couldn't get them acting together.

One day hopefully. Again, these two actresses are awesome. Really, the entire case of Possum Walk was spectacular and I should make a whole blog thing about everybody, because they deserve it an I want you know how how awesome everybody is.

I took a quick step back from Possum Walk's post production to focus back on Walking Distance. We have some very nice extras and featurettes that you'll be seeing in the coming DVD. Working with Mel House and James LaMarr has been awesome. They give very good

feedback and the movie it's self is pretty damned cool to begin with. Lots of stuff to work with.

I'm somewhat expecting the weekend after Christmas to feel like we're all cramming for a final

exam. I'm excited, despite the pressure because I've never had a "real" due date. All previous projects, we've given ourselves dates and if we didn't finish on time, there was no penalty. This is fun because we really need to have a product to have finished before the end of the year.

So the year/decade is ending. Most people who know me know I've been sitting on this one script that came from a story that's almost ten years old for it. I'm not immedeately jumping to this story next because I want to improve my skillz and give my self a little bit more experience in a few things I want to try.

When I was younger and arrogant, my teachers told me to do more short films before moving on to my first feature. I believe they are right now and there was still more to learn before I did "The Man in the Garage". I did learn a lot because of that movie and make a lot of new friends, but I need to make an A+ short film or two before I make another feature length film. Plus I need more excuses to go to film festivals and meet investors and actresses.

So I have some short films that I've written that I think are damned good. There's some actors I want to work with that I also think are damned good. Next I need to get a crew. A big part of these shorts is to work with a cinematographer whose not myself. I believe I can get a better product, focus more on actors, and let somebody else be technical if I let somebody else worry about what the picture looks like. The fun part of looking for someone to fill that role is going to be an even funner process since I've recently had a financial setback and have been adjusting to life without a car.

So watch out for those projects. I'll announce more about those films once things become official.